Fighting the Wrong Battle

The battle within me began when I was nine. I’d crawl under a laundry basket and feel all alone. Somehow I didn’t feel safe in this world. I didnt feel like I belonged, but most of all I didn’t feel loved. Everytime I got close to someone I’d push them away with my feelings of defectiveness. My focus was on me not being good enough to be loved. My strategy and game plan was to worry and try harder. As I traveled through life many years later I realized I was fighting the wrong battle. I am more than my feelings of inadequacy. In order to win the battle, I had to change my focus. My life, my presence was and is important! I had a purpose and I was placed here on this earth not to cry for what I didnt feel, but to fight for what was good in me and in others. Do I still feel inadequate at times..yes, but I use those feelings of inadequacy to give me momentum to fight the battle that is actually worth fighting. My inadequacies and my lonely places created a heart in me that was able to love other people and make them feel like they belonged. My battle cry to others who are fighting the wrong battle..the battle of loneleiness, depression, or feelings of inadequacy.. You are important, You matter, and there is a purpose for your life..even if it is to speak into another lonely souls life and Be Kind.